I have come to understand that one of the most significant relationships I will ever have, is the one I have with myself. This has taken an exhausting amount of experiences, learning, accountability, vulnerability, pain, and an additional huge list of other action verbs to come to this conclusion. I reflect on the past and there has certainly has been plenty of opportunities to learn this earlier in my life, so…..I consider myself somewhat of a slow study on this particular topic. But I am going to claim the old adage my mother often repeated to me, “better late than never” and in a place of gratitude that this truth has found its way to me.
So this is the breaking news….my relationship to myself is replicated in ALL of my relationships! I cannot give love to others if I have no love for myself. In addition, I cannot give more love to others, than the level of love I have for myself. This is HUGE! And if I criticism, judge, and condemn myself, then most likely I criticize, judge, and condemn others and believe that others are criticizing, judging, and condemning me. Sidney J. Harris once said, “It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others.”
As I seek to understand the state of my relationships around me…. children, parents, spouse, coworkers, friends, etc., I have the opportunity to look within and ponder if my relationship with myself is emanating out into these other relationships. As noted by Harry Palmer, “When you adopt the viewpoint that there is nothing that exists that is not part of you, that there is no one who exists who is not part of you, that any judgment you make is self-judgment, that any criticism you level is self-criticism, you will wisely extend to yourself an unconditional love that will be the light of the world.”
When I love myself, forgive myself, laugh at myself, have patience with myself, and embrace who I am in my divine identity, then I am able to extend love, forgiveness, joy, laughter, patience, and much more to others. I no longer need to seek for attention, have the need for others to validate me, or get trapped by falling into pleasing patterns because I have stability, peace, confidence and an inner-knowing of who I am.
Un~Raveling The Relationship Riddle is all about unraveling what is getting in your way of creating the relationships you want to experience. It is a journey in self-discovery, in vulnerability, in healing, and in understanding the divine masculine and divine feminine.
Ralph Waldo Emerson gave wise counsel when he said, “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” What lies within each of us is a spiritual greatness that can not be comprehended by our mortal minds. I invite you to come join me in this journey of discovery!